How to paint a gnome: Part 1

Wash gnome in hot soapy water.

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Swaddle gnome like a baby in towel.

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Take gnome outside for priming.

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Tell gnome to man up when he screams ‘my eyes!’

Make gnome endure sniffing from huge creature while primer is drying.

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Gather all paint and paint brushes in house from previous crafting.

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Start with largest area: shirt.

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Then go to hat.

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Wonder why gnomes wear royal blue and red and then think about the smurfs and if they were gnomes.

Paint belt and shoes brown.

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Stay tuned for part 2. I know you want to!

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3 thoughts on “How to paint a gnome: Part 1

  1. Part 2: Break gun off gnome and watch gnome cry. Tell gnome to man-up and join the protest against the NRA. Replace gun with knitting needles. Watch mother regain her composure knowing there isn’t a gnome with a gun at daughter’s house. World peace ensues.

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