How to paint a gnome: Part 1

Wash gnome in hot soapy water.


Swaddle gnome like a baby in towel.


Take gnome outside for priming.


Tell gnome to man up when he screams ‘my eyes!’

Make gnome endure sniffing from huge creature while primer is drying.


Gather all paint and paint brushes in house from previous crafting.


Start with largest area: shirt.


Then go to hat.


Wonder why gnomes wear royal blue and red and then think about the smurfs and if they were gnomes.

Paint belt and shoes brown.


Stay tuned for part 2. I know you want to!


3 thoughts on “How to paint a gnome: Part 1

  1. Part 2: Break gun off gnome and watch gnome cry. Tell gnome to man-up and join the protest against the NRA. Replace gun with knitting needles. Watch mother regain her composure knowing there isn’t a gnome with a gun at daughter’s house. World peace ensues.

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