Spoiler alert: This is a rant about break ups and how awesomely fun they are. Mumsy and Travis, you might want to avoid this. Travis, you might get some insight by reading this, but proceed with caution.

I get annoyed when people get married. I especially get annoyed when I don’t get a courtesy invitation. This leads me to think about why I am not the person getting married and then that leads me to about five relationships that didn’t work. The fascinating part of this is the similarities. See below.

All of my break ups have consisted of the exact same timeline.

1. I break it off or have a 50% role in the break up.
2. I feel strong for a few days, start to get bummed, then hope he comes back to me apologizing for being so stupid to have doubted that life with me would have been better than awesome and that he will change his ways for me.
3. This never happens.
4. I then rent tons of British mysteries to keep myself busy and focused on something other than another failed attempt at a relationship. At this point, I have literally seen every single episode and movie of Poirot, Sherlock Holmes, Miss Marple, Hetty Wainthrop Investigates, Inspector Morse, Midsummer Murders, and the list goes on. The Sneak Reviews employees get to know me about once every two years. I also have netflix and yes, I will be using it. Next series is Lord Wimsey. Current series is Murder Rooms (Arthur Conan Doyle historical fiction).
3. I get healthier than I was previously. I have lost 4.2 lbs this month on WW and I am running up to 5 miles with no problem whatsoever. Being solo means no dinners out, no chocolate chip cookie batches, fewer Arch’s trips. This also means my bank account is healthier. Also, I want to prove to the doubters that I’m not a couch potato tub of lard.
4. I spend lots of time knitting, running, walking with Ganz, thinking of what my life could be like with someone else (fulfilled, happy even, different than I ever imagined)
5. I tell said ex bf that I dont want him to be lonely, but maybe that is my way of saying that I don’t want to be lonely.
6. Ex boyfriend finds another chick and I have to hold my head high and joke with my brothers and friends about the bullet that was dodged.

So, this is my pattern, and I’ve made it to step 5. ¬†Hopefully step 6 will be avoided for another few months when I won’t care as much. In the meantime, I am almost done with my Redskins sweater, I have started my embroidery but need to put it on hold so I can start the Russia sweater. Work has been quite hectic and I am trying to keep my head above water without crying at my desk because I am tired and whenever I actually get to sleep, I dream about forgetting about something I was supposed to do at work. I think I will look for a project to focus on besides the actual projects I have going on. Maybe I will look on ebay for a used DVD set of Poirot. I love David Suchet!


2 thoughts on “Confessions

  1. Time to start a new activity putting your “helping others” skills to work……a good cure for loneliness. I think you know yourself pretty well.

  2. You are a strong woman…I can tell from your posts. Everyone is permitted self-pity but don’t let it swallow you up. I like the suggestion from Pris in the first response…use your skills and help others. Maybe teach some children or adults to knit so they can keep themselves warm this winter, volunteer in a soup kitchen, or something else pertinent to C’ville. Fall is coming and along with it new opportunities for getting out at football games (I can’t wait for the Oct. 22 game at UVA. Something new to see and do. We all need that in our lives. You will be fine. Recovering from a breakup takes time. Don’t expect too much of yourself. Glad you are healthier, though.

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